I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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