I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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