literally had 100 drinks last night.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
