Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
