Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
