Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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