True but thats because hes a fetus.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
