Sry I called you an 8
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
