Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
