I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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