I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just found a bag of teeth...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
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I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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