I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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