She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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