We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
