Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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