So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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