lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
