woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
