I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
