good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
