apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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