She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
