Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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