I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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