Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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