Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Too much gin, very little bucket
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
