i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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