Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
