Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
