i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
