How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
