If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
