a queef is a wish your heart makes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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