is wine microwaveable?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
