Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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