If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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