i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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