i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
