I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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