Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
