She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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