nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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