you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...