The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.