at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.