Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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