gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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