There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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