you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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