yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
