They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
