i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
