Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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