I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
