Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize