I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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