Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
