I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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