Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize