My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
