that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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