I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize