They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
