So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize