I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
