He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
