just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
