And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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