I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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