Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
