Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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