Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
