I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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