so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
