I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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