Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
