'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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