oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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