dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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